...it's all new and wonderful but I can only think of the other one...

He's sitting in the corner of the room. So full of hopes and expectations, it's all new and wonderful but I can only think of the other one, the one I know inside out and I wish I could just bring  back to life to avoid having to deal with the newness of a new computer. In the meantime I use the old iPad that has limited functionality and doesn't allow me to edit text. 

Change?! It used to be incredibly easy for me, change country, change job, change hobbies, change hair colour, lately I realised that I take the idea of change with some resistance. 

Is it a sign of maturity (thinking about the long term goals instead of instant gratification), or a sign that I've accommodated to my life? 

December 2002 I climbed the stairs ecstatic. My flatmate was home and I went straight to the kitchen to give her the wonderful news. 'I was accepted...hurray, I am off to Hungary for a pos graduate experience!' (well it ended up being Ireland but that's a whole new story...).

'What? Really? Her face saddened, she started crying and locked herself in her room. 

Glued to her door I said but 'Hey, but I got it, you should be happy for me, not sad.... I'll be back, don't worry!' I did come back but it was for a couple of months and I've been living abroad ever since. 

Two days ago my best friend said she was moving to the countryside and even if I didn't run out the door or cried, inside I felt something cracking. ' You can't do that, said the little silent voice in my heart', ' Ah that's awesome' I vocalised genuinely as I know she has been feeling like moving for a while. Actually we have both been feeling like that but hey she is moving ahead of me which sucks (as it is the part of being left behind that is painful). 

Then it hit me that for the last couple of years I've been resisting change, and oh boy, it is so overdue. Every time I get bored I start off another course and that keeps me motivated but that doesn't change the fact that I've been postponing my future because I am avoiding what will certainly be a huge change.

I now understand how my best friend felt in 2003, change hurts people, but it will hurt you even more if you don't move because you are afraid of it. 

I shall be brave! Now, Lenovo Yoga, come here let's be friends..

I'll miss him, longest relationship i've ever had!

So, what's the diagnosis? 

It's bad! 

A virus? 

No, not a virus. 

Oh no... Manflu? 

Worse... 

What's worse than manflu?

I am afraid it is terminal. 

Terminal?? Cancer you think? 

Lymphatic!... It spread to the whole RAM

This is terrible, how long?

Get your external drive for a backup. 

Jzzzz..that bad?! 

I have hidden the harddrive in such a brilliant place (robbers will never think of it), well now I can't think of it. 

I am becoming my mum, she would find Easter eggs around Christmas and we still eat them, along with Santa. Chocolate is chocolate, never mind the wrapping! Speaking of wrapping, I've bought chocolate in Cuba from a local artisan and it came wrapped on the chemistry school work of her daughter. The first tablet unwrapped had the cover of the exercise (pic)' the second contained notes of what it looked like a chemistry recipe.

'What happened to your homework Laila, the teacher asked?'

'My mum needed the paper to wrap chocolate tablets for some greedy tourists.'

The big bars were disgusting, I've offered one to K&G bragging the deliciousness of the product and the poor guys reacted better than I did when I first tried (spit the whole thing). I am sorry.....the tiny bars were soo tasty! 

He died peacefully in his sleep last night, after the backup. I'll miss him, longest relationship i've ever had! I've dropped it on the first week I've bought it, he reacted well. A few months later I spilled a whole cup of tea on top of the keyboard, it took him three days to recover. I think he realised from the start that he needed to be sturdy if he wanted to last so he did just that and because of it I started treating it better, no more falls or drops and we lasted almost seven years. Should apply the same technique to men I think! 

I need to engulf big chunks of air to expel the excess fire from the stormy heat

I've been sitting on the most uncomfortable chair ever made (too long to allow my feet to reach the ground, too short to allow me to lean backwards and still be able to read). The backs of my knees hurt from the wooden support against the legs, but it is just too hot  and humid to move elsewhere or to even move any muscle.
Sweat drips down my back and my skirt is glued to my legs. Every couple of minutes I feel like I need to engulf big chunks of air to expel the excess fire from the stormy heat.

I can hear the dominos clashing against one another on the improvised table set on the street downstairs, while I can visualise the four old men that play every day on the same place for hours in a row.

From the pateo of 'casa Tony', my presence seems to mingle with the afternoon atmosphere. The noise that would have otherwise annoyed me elsewhere; here it just feels natural, it is the sound of living.

Republic's street in Baracoa isn't the noisiest but certainly not the quietest either in this stormy cloudy afternoon. Spanish tv is audible from the neighbours house, the cock sings at four in the afternoon and the dominos now being shuffled, topless and barefeet kids play with marbles after stripping off their impeccably clean communist school uniforms.

House doors and windows are left open, allowing the passants to peep inside, greet the babies that nah nha nha in their own language. Door to door sellers announce their passage by beeping their bike or van horns. House ladies come to the windows and doors to buy fruits and bread for their guests.
Casa's particulares share the similar concept of B&B in the western world, except that here the family life seems to intertwine with the tourists that come through family spaces such as living rooms and kitchens where people snooze and cook.

There is constant movement, Cuban late afternoons are packed with activities. Cigars are more a myth than reality. They are offered at fancy hotel lobbies and tourist shops but are certainly not seen hanging from the mouths of many Cubans and in fact I have only noticed two or three being smoked on the streets.

The 'system' gives me mixed feelings. Everyone is fed, at least half of the month. ( rationed food isn't enough to feed a family for the whole month), school is free and mandatory, healthcare is also covered. Having some needs met, a good share of Cubans aren't too pushed to make money and instead begging for pens, clothes and exchanges between cuban pesos and cucs (foreign currency).

It is a fascinating place, full of colour, life, beauty and rhythm

May McDonald's, Ikea and supermarket chains never invade this country!