...it's all new and wonderful but I can only think of the other one...

He's sitting in the corner of the room. So full of hopes and expectations, it's all new and wonderful but I can only think of the other one, the one I know inside out and I wish I could just bring  back to life to avoid having to deal with the newness of a new computer. In the meantime I use the old iPad that has limited functionality and doesn't allow me to edit text. 

Change?! It used to be incredibly easy for me, change country, change job, change hobbies, change hair colour, lately I realised that I take the idea of change with some resistance. 

Is it a sign of maturity (thinking about the long term goals instead of instant gratification), or a sign that I've accommodated to my life? 

December 2002 I climbed the stairs ecstatic. My flatmate was home and I went straight to the kitchen to give her the wonderful news. 'I was accepted...hurray, I am off to Hungary for a pos graduate experience!' (well it ended up being Ireland but that's a whole new story...).

'What? Really? Her face saddened, she started crying and locked herself in her room. 

Glued to her door I said but 'Hey, but I got it, you should be happy for me, not sad.... I'll be back, don't worry!' I did come back but it was for a couple of months and I've been living abroad ever since. 

Two days ago my best friend said she was moving to the countryside and even if I didn't run out the door or cried, inside I felt something cracking. ' You can't do that, said the little silent voice in my heart', ' Ah that's awesome' I vocalised genuinely as I know she has been feeling like moving for a while. Actually we have both been feeling like that but hey she is moving ahead of me which sucks (as it is the part of being left behind that is painful). 

Then it hit me that for the last couple of years I've been resisting change, and oh boy, it is so overdue. Every time I get bored I start off another course and that keeps me motivated but that doesn't change the fact that I've been postponing my future because I am avoiding what will certainly be a huge change.

I now understand how my best friend felt in 2003, change hurts people, but it will hurt you even more if you don't move because you are afraid of it. 

I shall be brave! Now, Lenovo Yoga, come here let's be friends..